The American Dream

Why do Americans in midlife rank lowest in well-being and highest in depression? They eat more, smoke more and are developing serious chronic diseases earlier than in the past, according to the latest findings of the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index. Here's a good guess about the cause: Most of them can't afford to keep up their payments on The American Dream. For middle-class women, this is particularly true.

The average family caregiver is a woman in her late 40s who still has at least one child at home and works outside the home while providing an average of 20 hours a week of hands-on care for a loved one. There you have the recipe for the Financially Sandwiched Generation. Almost 70% of Boomers are providing some financial support to their adult children and grandchildren. They are picking up the pieces as their sons and daughters lose jobs and bail out of over-mortgaged homes. Layer on top of that the cost of long-term health care for their parents, who are living into their 80s and 90s with multiple chronic illnesses and the financial sandwich is born!

The toll on emotional health for women in this core group of Baby Boomers — now mid-40s to mid-50s — has a significant impact on their health, but also impacts our economy and the health of our nation. Startling data gathered by Healthways since 2008 reveals that even women who still have jobs are feeling increasingly dissatisfied with their work environment. These women are reporting increases in sadness, stress, worry and lost sleep. And, you know how the saying goes, "When mama ain't happy…"

"If you're sad, stressed, worried, and tired, you won't have enough energy to exercise and you're not going to make healthy eating choices," concludes Janet Calhoun, director of innovation at Healthways. It has also been shown that women who are depressed utilize the health care system seven times more often than their counterparts who are not.

The toll that midlife women's low well-being is taking on this country will be felt not just in continued spiraling healthcare costs. Calhoun reports "very compelling data that shows individuals with low well-being have much lower productivity and performance, and that is a huge economic drain." An intriguing statement, don't you think? No wonder the psychic anxiety is driving up depression. As it stands now, there is no time for women in the Financial Sandwich Generation to get fit with exercise and healthy food because all that seems to matter is productivity, performance and enhancing the country's bottom line.

So what can we do about it? We need to redirect our priorities. You can't live well for others. Don't change your ways for the financial health of the nation, your kids or your boss. Do it for you! This is a grass roots movement from the soul. Take stock of your life. Reassess priorities. Build in "you" time during the day – whether that means getting up 30 minutes earlier (and going to bed 30 minutes earlier), or saying "no" to extracurricular obligations. Create an extra hour every day so that you have time to shop for healthy foods, go for a walk, or meditate. And, don't steal those minutes from precious sleep hours. Instead, extract it from other obligations. Get rid of extra stuff in your life. Then ask yourself: Are there financial responsibilities you can release? Are there individuals you are financially supporting that could do more for themselves? Are you foregoing your time for physical fitness, dietary planning and sense of well being to accommodate others' needs and time constraints?

One suggested strategy is to find other women in similar circumstances that are ready for change. Create or join a Women's Circle where you find kindred souls, sisters who are driven to create and support each other in making positive changes in their own lives – whether that means learning how to negotiate a contract or trading car pool responsibilities. We need to band together. After all, our predecessors did not fight for the emancipation from gender-based restrictions only to lead us down the path of guilt-laden existence because we choose to live one foot in each world – professional working woman and main care provider. We cannot exist as everything to everybody. So, send a memo to your friends: You are not alone! The American Dream is still there for all of us…we just need to understand and embody the value of ourselves. Only then, will we and the world realize our true and soulful potential.