The most important aspect of building resilience is learning to take excellent care of yourself – mind, body, and spirit. Think of caring for yourself as if you were your own child – giving to yourself at least as much as you give to others. You are worth it!Here is a list of 100 ways to consider building your resilience. This is not a checklist – only a list of suggestions. Please take the ones that appeal to you and let go of the rest.
- Put a post-it on your mirror that says, “I love and accept you, just the way that you are!” – And then say it out loud every day while you're staring into your own eyes.
- Create something. – Many of us have gotten away from actually making things. Create some artwork. Write something. Build something. Make something that didn’t exist before. Most importantly, enjoy the process.
- Buy a bouquet of your favorite flowers every now and then. – Brighten up your life.
- Use colored pens for no particular reason. – Blue and black are fine, but how about purple?
- Take a walk without a destination. – It’s a great way to get some exercise and clear your mind. Be mindful of what you see, hear and feel.
- Take a hot bath.
- Try something new. – Go out on a limb. Learn something new. Do that thing you’ve always wanted to try. The more experiences you have, the richer your life will be.
- Get enough sleep. – Everything is harder when you’re tired.
- Meditate. – It takes a little practice at first, but if you find a meditation that works for you, you will be calmer and more peaceful.
- Write in a journal. – Write anything that calls you. Ideas, experiences, dreams, frustrations – get them out of your head and down on paper.
- List the things that you’re grateful for. – You can’t help but feel better when you literally count your blessings.
- Treat yourself. – We struggle to be disciplined, especially with money and food. Once in a while, treating yourself to your favorite coffee or seeing a movie (if that’s what you like to do) makes all the difference.
- Smile. – Even if you need to fake it. Eventually, you won’t be faking it anymore.
- Replace negative thoughts. – Listen to what’s going on in your head and actively quiet the voices of pessimists and critics. Instead, when you are thinking something negative about someone or a situation replace it with this statement directed towards yourself, “ (Your name), I love and accept you just the way that you are.” When you love and accept yourself, you are much more likely to love and accept others.
- Drink plenty of water. – It’s basic, but it’s so good for you.
- Stretch. – Before you start your day, take a few minutes for a good muscle stretch. It just plain feels good. And, it’s fast, easy and free.
- Put some “me time” on your calendar. – When life gets busy, doing things for yourself is the first thing to be sacrificed. So, actually block out time on your calendar.
- Call a friend. – Think of someone who you enjoy and ring them up!
- Ask for help. – This can be hard. But it’s so important to recognize when you need a sounding board, or some advice, or an extra pair of hands.
- Say no, if you absolutely must. – Your time is valuable. Set boundaries to avoid becoming overwhelmed. However, remember your best opportunities in life come from remaining open. So, first say “yes” to those things that strike your fancy and carefully consider saying no to those things that you dread.
- Give someone a hug. – We all need human contact.
- List the things that you like about yourself. – We can all list the things that we don’t like about ourselves. Turn that around and think about your many positive qualities.
- Delegate. – Hire someone to mow the lawn or scrub the floors or shovel the driveway. Teach the kids to do laundry. Give that project to a co-worker. You do not have to do it all.
- Take a deep breath. – And another. Now another. It’s like a mini-break to reset yourself during the day.
- Light a candle or use a reed diffuser. – Your sense of smell creates the strongest memories. Find scents that relax you and enjoy them.
- Claim some space for yourself. – A place where you can go to have a quiet moment to read a book, or meditate, or write, or sleep – somewhere that you can get some peace and privacy.
- Get out into nature. – Reconnecting with the earth is just good for your soul. Feel the breeze. Breathe the fresh air. Listen to the waves. Watch the birds. Nature nurtures the soul!
- Buy the good ice cream. – Even on the tightest of budgets.
- Use lotions & soaps with scents that you love. – It’s a nice way to pamper yourself, plus you’ll smell good all day.
- Give a compliment at least once per day. – Telling someone that they had a fantastic idea or that they look beautiful in that color creates a pleasant environment and makes two people feel good for the price of one.
- Listen to your music. – Listen to whatever makes you happy and leave air space for other’s happiness, too.
- Play. – Something we forget as adults. A board game, a sport, finger painting – find something frivolous and have fun!
- Eat foods that you love. – Food is to be enjoyed! Put food into your body that nourishes you in every way.
- Be silly every now and again. – We take ourselves entirely too seriously. Let go. Be spontaneous and outrageous!
- Laugh. – Sometimes you just need a good laugh to lift your spirits.
- Limit screen time. – Too much time in front of computers, TV’s, video games, and blackberries (or all of the above) disconnects you from the world immediately around you and makes your brain mushy. Make sure that you’re getting plenty of input from the non-virtual world.
- Be present. – Be deliberate about experiencing what’s happening right now. It’s all about the journey – don’t miss yours!
- Stop worrying. – Just stop! Live in the moment.
- Trust yourself. – You are smart, capable and talented. You’re choices are just as valid as anyone else’s. Don’t second guess yourself.
- Do something that’s only for you. – Remember that hobby that you used to have time for? Or that food that no one else in your house likes? Reclaim it.
- Make sure your health is in order. – What’s more important than your health? See your doctor regularly. Make sure you are getting the vitamins or supplements that you need. Advocate for yourself as you would for your child.
- Give to someone in need. – Donating your time or your stuff or your money to someone less fortunate makes you feel good and puts your problems into perspective.
- Sparkle! – Feeling down on yourself? Get all dolled up. Wear something that makes you feel beautiful. It’s a good way to find your strut.
- Dance. – It’s great exercise and inherently joyful!
- Stand up for yourself. – Your needs are important. Don’t let anyone disregard them. Pushing back can be scary but it’s empowering too!
- Celebrate! (for any reason at all) – Your kid lost a tooth! Your taxes are done and filed! The week is more than half over! Let’s party!
- Enjoy your kids. – It’s easy to rush through the day without really connecting with them. Make a conscious effort to talk with them about their day.
- Avoid self-deprivation. – When it comes to food, it’s OK to cut back on things that aren’t good for you (sweet, sweet carbohydrates), but if you feel deprived, it’s probably not maintainable. If there is one thing you can’t live without – eat. Simply limit the quantity to a true serving size.
- Forget the word “should”. – Instead of doing what you think you’re supposed to, follow your own path.
- Pay attention to your energy. – Are you most productive first thing in the morning? Are you sluggish after lunch? Honor your natural cycles and plan accordingly.
- Find a mantra or an affirmation that lifts your spirits. – “Today is a new day.” “I know that life always supports me.” “I have wonderful people in my life.” Find one that works for you.
- Stand tall. – Your spirit can’t soar when you slouch. You feel much more powerful when you stand up straight and look the world in the eye.
- Be romantic. – See the best in others and the best in life. It feels good.
- Get a hot stone massage. – It feels soooo good.
- Choose optimism. – Thinking positive thoughts has a tangible impact on your day and on your life. Where your attention goes, energy flows!
- Dream big. – You can do anything you set your mind to!
- Tune out the naysayers. – People criticize for many reasons, especially if they have negative feelings about themselves. That’s their “thing”, not yours. Follow your heart – not everyone has to get it.
- Add color to your surroundings. – Find the colors that strike your fancy and use them in your space. Looking for calm, fill your world with sage green and navy blue. Looking for energy and passion, fill your world with Sicilian red and sunflower yellow.
- Surround yourself with the things you love. – Especially, photos of loved ones.
- Declutter. – You should have ONLY the stuff that you love. Purge everything in your life, both physical and emotional that you don’t honestly need, use or love. Everything else distracts you from your true intentions and bogs you down.
- Stop procrastinating. – Procrastination is a form of perfectionism. Accept that it’s not going to be perfect and just get it over with. Image how great it will feel to not have it hanging over your head any more!
- Listen to your inner voice. – Your instincts are good. It’s important to listen to your own head and heart.
- Cut yourself (and everyone else) some slack. – Arguably the most important tip on this list. We hold ourselves to impossible standards and then beat ourselves up when we don’t meet them. We are our own worst critics. And, when we consistently criticize ourselves, we can’t help but criticize others, too.
- Slow down. – When you’re living your life at top speed, you’re missing most of it. Stop and take a breath. Look for ways to adopt a more humane pace.
- Identify your passion. – What do you love? What makes time disappear? Do you have a volunteer opportunity you feel passionate about? Are you passionate about traveling to foreign lands? How about learning to play the guitar? Find something in your life that really floats your boat and then schedule that activity for two hours twice per week.
- Speak kindly about yourself. – You’re awesome. If you believe it, so will everybody else.
- Move your body. – Climb rocks on the shoreline. Run a marathon. Take a tap dancing class. Power walk. Anything that feels good that gets your blood moving. The only limitation: it has to be fun. Don’t take a spinning class if you hate spinning.
- Invest in matching under garments. – This one is for the ladies, of course. It’s your own little secret.
- Pay attention to your body’s messages and purge things that aren’t good for you. – Unhealthy foods, cigarettes, a miserable work environment, toxic people – do what you have to do to set boundaries and demand the highest quality of life. You deserve it. Things that don’t nourish and support you don’t belong in your life.
- Limit your news consumption. – It’s important to be well-informed, but the non-stop feed of histrionic tragedy is not helpful. Read the news, instead.
- Say yes to life. – Opportunities are everywhere. Learn a new language, join a curling team, go camping. When new things present themselves to you – jump at the chance.
- Stop hating your body. – Have compassion for your body. Nurture it.
- Sing loudly. – And feel the music.
- Be kind. – Being nice to someone else. You will have made the world a better place. What feels better than that?
- Tell someone you love them. – We often forget to say it out loud. It matters.
- Take all of your vacation days. – You earned them. Don’t give them back to your company for nothing.
- Take pride in the hard times that you have overcome. – What didn’t kill you made you stronger. It wasn’t easy, but you did it!
- Let someone else be in charge for a while. – Other people can be responsible while you do something for yourself.
- Don’t answer the phone unless it’s someone you want to talk to right now. – Some people find it difficult not to answer a ringing phone, but it’s liberating once you learn to ignore it or even better, just turn it off.
- Have faith. – It’s going to work out. The future is bright!
- Take a personal inventory. – Does your behavior match your true intentions? If there’s a disconnect, you’re carrying a heavy weight.
- Go on a retreat. – For a couple of minutes or a couple of days, get away for a bit to re-energize.
- Put your finances in order. – Money problems are enormously stressful. Paying off debt where possible, putting bills on automatic payment, and working with a financial planner if necessary can all help to ease the strain.
- Eliminate all expectations of perfection. – In fact, eliminate the word ‘perfect’ from your vocabulary.
- Find a good way to blow off steam. – Talk, run, dance…find a healthy alternative to wallowing in anger.
- Be who you are. – Dedicate time for soul searching to uncover your true self, and live that way.
- Spend some time alone for quiet reflection. – We spend all of our time go, go, going. Try stopping to think about your life, your goals, and your dreams.
- Keep your words positive. – Happiness and complaints cannot coexist.
- Let light and fresh air into your house. – Sunlight is a must. Open up those windows!
- Turn off your e-mail, cell phone, blackberry, fax, etc. for a while. – It’s not healthy to be accessible 24/7.
- Pare down your to-do list. – Feeling overwhelmed? What’s on your list that can be delegated, avoided, or eliminated?
- Avoid boredom. – Keep your brain active to keep the blues at bay.
- Make your home a haven that reflects your personality. – Your home should be a place where you can take a breath and really relax. If it isn’t, you may have some work to do.
- Let go. – 80% of everything is irrelevant. Focus on the other 20.
- Minimize multi-tasking. – It’s not good for you and well ultimately undermine what you are trying to get accomplished.
- Break your routine once in awhile. – Get out of a rut and into a groove.
- Take action! – If something isn’t right in your life, fix it!
- Plan ahead. – With a few minutes of organizing your time and to-do’s, you will be better prepared to take on the day.
- Intentionally enjoy your journey. – As you go through your days, look around. Be present with what you see, hear and feel. You might be amazed at what you’ve been missing.
- Spend time with people who make you happy. – Who nourishes and supports you? Surround yourself with those people.
